As my time here is winding down, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my Korean life and thinking about my return back to the states. I thought I do what I do best and make a list to express why I am very much looking forward to coming home.

Things I am not going to miss about my Korean life:
1. The morning routine in my homestay. Every morning I am awoken long before my alarm goes off to my host mom banging pots and pans in the kitchen and doing god knows what while listening to the English radio station at full volume because the volume dial is broken. I wake up and step outside my room to even louder music (usually some weird American song that I would never expect my host mom to be listening to, like Beyonce or Justin Bieber) and all of the lights in the house turned on and my host mom asking me, "How is your condition?" (a favorite English phrase of Koreans). I shower and get ready and then come to the table to eat my cereal. By this time my host mom has probably been screaming in Korean to my host sister in the other room to "Come quickly!" or "Eat rice!". Usually this continues through most of my meal until my sister comes in and asks me 1000 questions. Did I mention that my host mom cooks breakfast for about an hour and somehow magically they always have the same thing which usually doesn't involve cooking? I still haven't figure out what she does all morning.
2. Having students scream "Way-gook-ee" (foreigner) every morning when I come through the school yard. Seriously student...I've been at your school for like 8 freakin' months. If you haven't noticed the random blonde-haired white person who is there everyday by now, then you've got a problem.
3. Being stared at by ajummas on the street. I don't mind being looked at or having every other person I pass say "Hello" to me, but having old Korean women stare me down with the evil eye drives me crazy. They always have a disgusted look on their face and stare me down for very long periods of time. Sometimes it bothers me so much I want to hit them in the face.
4. Ajummas cutting in line. I don't know at what point in Korean women's lives they forgot the rules of social decency, but ajummas are notorious for cutting in line in front of you. My host mom is guilty of this as well. There will be a line 10 people long and ajummas will just walk to the front of the line and put down their things or try to order their food as if they didn't see the other people standing there.
5. Korean food.
6. Korean alcohol.
7. Having to always tell my host family where I am or what I'm doing or who I am going somewhere with.
8. Being bombarded with questions the minute I walk in the door after being at school and class from 9am-9pm.
9. Not ever having food in the house. One cultural difference between Americans and Koreans is that in America, you always have a pantry stocked with food and snacks and canned goods. In Korea my host family only buys food for the very immediate future. My host mom buys our dinner the same day that we have it. If I come home from school I can't go into the closet and pull out a snack or find leftovers in the fridge. I always have to cook something if I want something to eat.
10. Not having any place that is actually my own. I miss having a place to come home to and relax in after a stressful day at work.
11. Having to explain things 5 times before someone understands what I am asking or what I am trying to say.
12. Not being able to easily recognize signs or recognize foods in the grocery store.
13. Not having a TV.
14. Trying to get dressed in the bathroom after I have taken a shower and there is water all over everything and the bathroom is 100 degrees because there is so air vent or window.

These are just some of the things that have been getting to me more as of lately. Now that there is an end in sight to this year, its been more difficult to have patience with the things I previously had patience for.

While there are many things I can't wait to get away from here, leaving is going to be very difficult. There are so many things I love about Korea and so many people here that have become very important to me. The prospect of never seeing my host family again after this year is over is one I can't even comprehend at the moment. I know that this is not going to be the last time that I am in Korea, so I hope that I will get to see them again. But I do realize there is the possibility I won't and that's very sad and very strange to me. How do you just leave the people who have been there for you and with whom you have shared so many things with for a whole year? I'm sure my leaving will be as hard if not harder for my host family, especially Tammy. I know how badly she wishes she had a sister to play with all of the time. I thought leaving my friends would be the hardest part, but at least I know I have a better chance of seeing them again back in the states.
Leaving Korea is one thing, but coming back to America and readjusting to American life is a whole other thing in itself. There are so many questions I have been thinking about.

Is it going to feel like Korea was just a dream or is getting back into my life at home going to difficult? What am I going to miss about Korea? What things about my life at home am I going to view differently when I get there? Have I changed as a person at all? Will I be able to talk about anything other than this past year? How long are my friends going to put up with that? What will it be like to not have anyone around who can relate to my experiences this past year? Will it be strange to understand everything everyone says around me? Will I regret coming home? Will I be able to keep in touch with my Fulbright friends? Will I ever find a job? What kind of job do I even want anymore?

As much as I can't wait to come home, I'm not sure if I'm ready for another big life change.